My Immortal- The MST! (NOT SAFE FOR SANITY!!!)

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:28 pm

Raven Nightshade wrote:

I've realized that this fanfic is basically a Harry Potter version of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet."

At least now you can say you've done 2/3rds of this...and probably lost that much of your sanity in the process. At least you're not the unfortunate people who decided to do a live reading of it.

Heh heh. Well, see, I'm thinking of having Odd Della Robbia from Code Lyoko and Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony:FiM help Daria and Jane riff my next one, so, yes, I think it's safe to say I lost some of my sanity.

Chapter Thirty!
Daria: Hey, we only have fourteen more chapters to go.

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AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111

Jane: Well, if I were to haphazard a guess...

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so FUL U!111

Daria: Says the Queen of Fools.

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if u flam u wil be a prep

Jane: Oh, yes, I am so preppy. I'm the cute little cheerleader.
Daria: Didn't you once try out for cheerleading?
Jane: *beat* Quick, go ahead and bash my head in.

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so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111

Daria: No, thanks. I don't know what's been in it.

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soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux.

Jane: All I got from that is "society sucks," which, while accurate, probably doesn't apply to everything.

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fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

Daria: And what about the one thousand other reviewers?
Jane: Nine hundred and ninety nine of them were Raven.

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"No!11" we screamed sadly.

Daria: Unless he plans on just killing you, I agree.

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Snap stated loafing meanly.

Jane: What a loafer.

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He took out a kamera anvilly.

Jane: I don't think she meant actual anvils! You should put them away now!
Voices: Awww.... *loud crashing sound*
Daria: What was that?
Jane: I'll explain later.

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Then... he came tords Darko!1!

Daria: Oh, we're watching Donnie Darko now?

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He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.

Jane: Are we doing an exorcism?
Daria: I hope so, this fic needs it.

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"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily.

Daria: He's getting ready to kill you. We hope.

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Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants.

Daria and Jane: AUGH! I DON'T WANNA SEE!

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I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

Jane: Eeeew...

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He waved his wand and a nife came.

Daria: Stab her!

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He gave da knife 2 me.

Jane: Like she can hold it, chained up like that.

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"U must stab Vrompire."

Jane: YES!

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he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1"

Daria: No!

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"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

Jane: Ya think? No rape. Please!

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But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant

Jane: This whole fic is a depressant!

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and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist)

Daria: No, you're not.

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between Kurt Cobain

Daria: Kurt Cobain isn't Goth either!

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and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.

Jane: And I'm remembering a time when we didn't know about this fic, and JK Rowling's ideas weren't skewed to hell.

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Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort.

Jane: Instead of, you know, Voldemort.
Daria: Who's Voldemort?

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He started to do an incapacitation

Jane: I'm currently incapacitated by this fic.

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dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire.

Daria: Fangirl alert!

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Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

Daria: Let Snape destruct them!

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"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.

Jane: Only if those meddling kids get involved.

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"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled.

Jane: The mystery is why we're reading this fic.

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Meanwhile I took out my wand.

Daria: How? *facepalm*

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"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him...

Daria: The room exploded!

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"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.

Daria: Yeah, no.

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Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious.

Jane: Cell phones shouldn't be working with all that magic...

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I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-"

Daria: <Snape> All of us in one big glorious attack!

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shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Jane: Severus is Snape, ding bat!

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Snake put the whip behind his bak.

Daria: Yeah, that convinces me.

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"Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing."

Jane: Yeah, how to get raped by BDSM teachers.

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he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap.

Daria: More fangirl bait.

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Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."

Jane: To HELL!!!!

DSBM · **Posted:** Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:44 pm

Sorry. But. What. Is. This!?!?!?

My eyes! My beautiful eyes!

Snoop!? SNOOP!?!??!?! "He looked exactly like a pentragram?"!?!?!?

KILL THIS FIC WITH FIRE.

(Also hell, either you're really strongwilled or really insane in doing this. P-:

It is really funny though. And sorry if I didn't read all of this, because it HURTS MY EYES.)

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:54 pm

DSBM wrote:

Sorry. But. What. Is. This!?!?!?

My eyes! My beautiful eyes!

Snoop!? SNOOP!?!??!?! "He looked exactly like a pentragram?"!?!?!?

KILL THIS FIC WITH FIRE.

(Also hell, either you're really strongwilled or really insane in doing this. P-:

It is really funny though. And sorry if I didn't read all of this, because it HURTS MY EYES.)

I was wondering when you would show up.

DSBM · **Posted:** Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:58 pm

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

I was wondering when you would show up.

I read actually more or less when you posted chapters, but I didn't post for some reason. Missed me? P-:

The indignation was severe reading the fic. Really.

Sailor Swifty · **Posted:** Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:16 am

DSBM wrote:

Sorry. But. What. Is. This!?!?!?

My eyes! My beautiful eyes!

Snoop!? SNOOP!?!??!?! "He looked exactly like a pentragram?"!?!?!?

KILL THIS FIC WITH FIRE.

(Also hell, either you're really strongwilled or really insane in doing this. P-:

It is really funny though. And sorry if I didn't read all of this, because it HURTS MY EYES.)

Fire you say..

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:01 pm

Sooo... Tired. @.@ Anyway, chapter 31.

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AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111

Daria: And the insults keep a coming.

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stop kalin ebony a mary su

Jane: But, she is a Mary Sue.

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ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111

Daria: Please. By this point, it's predictable.

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fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

Jane: You're about to be missing some fangs soon.

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"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)."

Jane: She completely spoiled that shout out.

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Serious said 2 Snape.

Jane: Sirius! Seriously, there is a Harry Potter wiki!

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"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed.

Daria: <Snape> I was teaching them about sex-ed!

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"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum

Jane: Okay, if the veritaserum is black, then something went wrong.

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out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap.

Daria: These sentences give me a headache. Does she realize what a compound sentence is?
Jane: But, that would hurt her tiny brain.

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Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes.

Daria: <Snape> In third year, I made out with James Potter.
Jane: What did we say about the yaoi fangirls?

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Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort.

Jane: I thought you were going to seduce Voldemort.

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Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over.

Daria: Nirvana isn't Goth, it's grunge!

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Hermoine,

Jane: Oh, hey, where did she come from?

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Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store.

Jane: Tom Rid. Totally not suspicious at all.

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"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

Daria: You're death.

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"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg.

Jane: Oh, yeah, not slutty at all.

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I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

Daria: Kawaii, no. Slutty, yes.

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"Fangs." I said.

Jane: For nothing.

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"Ok now you're going to go back in tim."

Jane: The Doctor would not allow that.

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said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill.

Daria: Does this girl know how to even shoot a gun?

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Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here."

Jane: Or, we could use the blue telephone box out in the front yard.

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Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me.

Daria: *spluttering* What? A penseive is for looking at memories!

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Every1 went in front of it.

Jane: And drank the kool-aid.

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"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then... I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Jane: She can't do anything normal, can she?

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Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was...Tom Bombodil!1111

Daria: Tom Bombodil was a character in Lord of the Rings, idiot.

Raven Nightshade · **Posted:** Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:28 am

I'm weirdly amused that Daria and Jane actually read/watched Harry Potter. Dunno why this hit me 31 chapters in.

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:33 am

Raven Nightshade wrote:

I'm weirdly amused that Daria and Jane actually read/watched Harry Potter. Dunno why this hit me 31 chapters in.

Hahahahahaha! It never crossed my mind that they wouldn't read Harry Potter.

Sailor Swifty · **Posted:** Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:01 am

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Raven Nightshade wrote:

I'm weirdly amused that Daria and Jane actually read/watched Harry Potter. Dunno why this hit me 31 chapters in.

Hahahahahaha! It never crossed my mind that they wouldn't read Harry Potter.

Zoisite: they do it to insalt it...

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:43 pm

Chapter 32.

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AN: I sed stup fflaming

Daria: I am so sorry, your royal pain in the ass.

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I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111

Jane: Pretty big mistake, if you ask me.

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if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

Daria: We're not the one desperatly screaming at the viewers.

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"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

Jane: You don't have to describe your nails at every freaking moment!

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"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam"

Daria: Uh, no. Not. It's Marvollo you idiot.

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We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs."

Jane: <Satan> So I can kill you.

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Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan...do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?"

Daria: Green Day wasn't formed until 1987.

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(sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

Jane: Hey, Riddle was born in 1926. He attended Hogwarts in 1937 to 1944. Give or take.

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"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

Daria: This girl really, really, really get the time's right.

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"omg me too!" I replied happily.

Daria: Go fig.

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"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.

Jane: Oh, God...

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"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly.

Jane: Yeah, uh, no.
Daria: Hogsmeade is one of the first wizarding villages. In other words, it's been around for a long, long time.

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"and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

▒topic!" I finshed, happy again.

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He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.

Jane: How would he know this, since this is in the past?
Daria: Wibbly-wobbly?
Jane: No, that doesn't work here.

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"ohh." now everything was making sense for me.

Jane: Which means not at all for us!

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"so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted.

Daria: Headmaster. Headmaster. Headmaster!

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"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

Jane: Yeah, that's something to brag about.
Daria: What house would you be in?
Jane: Just... Shut up.

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"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

Daria: Shme?
Jane: Shmeeeee!

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"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

Daria: No, you're not.

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"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Jane: Do us a favor, and go back to third grade.

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Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

Daria: Dumbledore had red hair, you idiot!!!

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satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

Jane: Actually, he would find Goth and punk to be interesting as it doesn't conform to the norm. Or, at least, it did back then. Now, however.
Daria: It's mainstream!

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I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

Jane: Whoof! Whoof!

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"wtf?" he asked angrily.

Daria: You're evil.
Jane: Now more than ever.

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"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

Jane: Spoilers, sweetie.

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then suddenlyn... the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN.

Daria: And onto a bed of spikes.

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everyone looked At ME weirdly."

Jane: Just now they think you're weird?

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"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.

Daria: <Singing> One pill makes you larger... One pill makes you small...

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I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.

Jane: Seriously, that would be freaky.

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"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.

Daria: Yes, because Dumbledore sticks to the norm.

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sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"

Jane: <Ebony> Having fun with my sugar daddy!

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:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

Daria: I wish I could forget I'm reading this fic.

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"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

Daria: Remember, kids, you can scream at teachers, only if they're gothic.
Jane: And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Daria: Sailor Moon Says. Giggle.
Jane: What was that?
Daria: I'm sorry for not being able to giggle.

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professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum."

Jane: What?

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she started to cry black tears of depression.

Daria: Your mascara is running.

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dumblydum didn't know about them.

Jane: Didn't know about what?

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"hey r u crying tears of blood?"

Daria: No, but, I might.

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he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!"

Jane: Does someone want to hit this writer?

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we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid

Jane: Limpid?
Daria: Here's the dictionary term.
lim·pid/ˈlimpid/
Adjective:
1.(of a liquid) Free of anything that darkens; completely clear.
2.(of a person's eyes) Unclouded; clear.

Jane: So, she uses a word no one would know?

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tears. "omfg enoby...I think im addicted to Voldemortserum."

Daria: There's a pill for that.
Jane: Is there a pill to forget this thing?
Daria: I'll look into it.

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AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112

Jane: It's not serious, it's stupid.

DSBM · **Posted:** Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:00 pm

Sailor Swifty wrote:

Fire you say..

AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.

Shmeee is my new favourite word! :cool:

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:01 pm

Jane: BEWARE!!!! Yon hellions of this domain, repent of your sins!!!! For, in 24 hours time, hell shall reign over this domain, and the ones Born of the Dusk shall burn for their sins!
Daria: What are you doing?
Jane: I'm warning the innocent people of the mind rape that will happen tomorrow.
Daria: Then let us partake of the holy pizza and pray that our sanity shall survive.

DSBM · **Posted:** Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:08 pm

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Jane: BEWARE!!!! Yon hellions of this domain, repent of your sins!!!! For, in 24 hours time, hell shall reign over this domain, and the ones Born of the Dusk shall burn for their sins!
Daria: What are you doing?
Jane: I'm warning the innocent people of the mind rape that will happen tomorrow.
Daria: Then let us partake of the holy pizza and pray that our sanity shall survive.

Tomorrow is Friday, Janey. ^_^'

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:55 am

Chapter 33

Daria: And we're back. Shoot us.

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AN: I sed shut up

Jane: No.

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itz nut my folt ok

Daria: You're the one writing it.

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if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111

Jane: I'm wondering where she gets the idea that flamers are preps...

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ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111

Daria: I don't think we can find five people who lie that well.

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U SUK!1111

Jane: So do you. What a coincedence, we have nothing in common.

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fangz raven 4 di help

Daria: Zzzzzzz....

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il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

Jane: Oh, God...

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"Oh my fuking god!1"

Daria: I thought it was "Oh, my Satan."

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I shooted

Daria: BANG!
Jane: SHOT!!!!
Daria: We need one.

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sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"

Jane: St. Manga's, where the nurses get raped by naughty tentacles and saved by sexy doctors.
Daria: Did we mention the sexy Magical Girls?

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"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy

Jane: That's another shot, for you folks at home.

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, I need ur help.

Daria: <Trelawney> Kill me now...

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Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson

Jane: WHO???

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4 sum help?"

Daria: No, we'll just kill you here.

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"Sure I said sadly.

Jane: She's gonna cut herself again.

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I went outside the door.

Daria: And got decapitated by a descending pendulum.

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Draco was there!111

Jane: Damn.

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He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

Daria: Better than sleeping nude.
Jane: I think we're attracting more fangirls than we're detracting.

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"Hey Sexxy." I said.

Jane: <Draco> Fuck you, bitch.

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"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.

Daria: You mean, not at all?

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"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

Jane: Double suicide, please!

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"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.

Daria: <Ebony> I sold my soul for sex.
Jane: <Draco> Why?
Daria: <Ebony> It was great sex.

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"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

Jane: I'm gonna "bork" someone into the atmosphere.

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"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

Daria: <Ebony> Only if he's better than you.

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"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily.

Jane: Like she yells at her readers.

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Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him.

Daria: Please, kill him.

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I said sorry.

Jane: Then killed him.

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We frenched.

Daria: A simple kiss would do, you know.

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"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

Jane: Probation. He'll be back within the week.

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"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly.

Jane: Draco's a mistress! I knew it!

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He opened a door...

Daria: And died.

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Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11

Daria: The Powerpuff Girls were obviously here.

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Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

Jane: Death to Fuzzy Lumpkins!

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"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged

Daria: I'm not touching that one.

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as Serious started 2 suk his blood.

Jane: Wow. There goes a whole new set of fangirls...

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I laffed statistically.

Daria: Statistically, this fic is only being used for fodder.

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I tok some photons

Jane: I'm not in high school, I don't want to know science!

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of him and Snap bing torqued.

Daria: Hostel was full of "torquers."

Quote:

(ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz).

Jane: We should torture this writer.
Daria: How about we send her Cupcakes?
Jane: She'd enjoy that, and I'd throw up.
Daria: Okay, what about Chibi-Usa's Seventh Birthday?
Jane: That thing!?! It's the most horrific, most disgusting fic in existence! *beat* Let's do it!

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We took sum of Snipe's blod

Daria: And will sell it for ten bucks a drop.

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den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz.

Jane: Just die already!

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We sat on my goffik blak coffin.

Daria: Which pales to Abby's coffin.

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My cloves

Daria: That's just fail on so many levels.

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were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) .

Jane: I heard of it. I just thought it sucked.

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I put on some blak platform high heelz.

Jane: Daria has a pair of those.
Daria: No, I don't.

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Darko put on ▒desolition liverz' by MCR.

Daria: *snores*

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Den...we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez.

Jane: Here we go...

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I tok of his shit

Jane: <singing> I'm... to sexy for my shit... to sexy for my shit...

Quote:

nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge.

Daria: Odds are, if you are in the Grudge...
Jane: Ju-On, you prep!!!
Daria: Or Ju-On as Jane prefers, then you would probably be trying to run and hide instead of making out.

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He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily.

Jane: It's called a VAGINA!!!!

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I gut an orgy.

Daria: There's only two people!

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"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively

Jane: Again, how does one scream passively?

Quote:

as he got an eructation.

Daria: You know, a guy is supposed to have an erection before intercourse.

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"I luv u TaEbory."

Jane: And the audience hates you/

Quote:

he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

Daria: Now die in your sleep!

Sailor Swifty · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:09 am

zoisite: it isn't over yet....

Raven Nightshade · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:26 am

It lives!

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:32 am

Raven Nightshade wrote:

It lives!

Is that a cry of fear or joy?

DSBM · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:52 am

Quote:

as he got an eructation.

Oh God. Kill me. It's wrong...

It's wrong! IT'S WRONG! IT'S WRONG!

I wonder if the author had the privilege of having sex before the guy having an "eructation". P-:

Raven Nightshade · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:34 am

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Raven Nightshade wrote:

It lives!

Is that a cry of fear or joy?

...
...
...
...
...yes.

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:48 pm

Chapter 34...
Daria: Sadly, we had to drag ourselves to this thing....

Quote:

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111

Jane: I'm not motivated enough to say anything right now...

Quote:

hav u even red de story!11

Daria: We've been talking about it for the past several weeks.

Quote:

u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111

Daria: No, preps and posers wouldn't dare read or write fanfic for fear of ruining their reputation.
Jane: What about Quinn?
Daria: Quinn's smarter than she looks.

Quote:

fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

Jane: And fangz to Tara for killing our IQ points.

Quote:

I wook up in da coffin de next day.

Daria: Still living and breathing, sadly.
Jane: I say we quite and MST ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday.
Daria: Or an Oscar fic.

Quote:

Draco waz gone.

Daria: Small comfort.

Quote:

I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees.

Jane: You just forgot the stripper pole.

Quote:

There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth.

Daria: And you call yourself Goth?

Quote:

I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots.

Jane: Sluuuut.

Quote:

Suddenly... Sorious cocked on da door.

Jane: I'm gonna cock a gun here in a minute.

Quote:

I hopened it.

Daria: I hope you choke and die.

Quote:

"Hi Ibony."

Daria: Ibony? Seriously, consistency is important.

Quote:

he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor▓s office."

Jane: I wonder how she got that weird block thingy...

Quote:

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice.

Daria: We're depressed too, but, we don't point it out all the time.

Quote:

I had wanted to fuk Draco

Jane: Slut!

Quote:

or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence.

Daria: Those aren't Goth bands!!!!

Quote:

I came anyway.

Jane: Can we leave yet?

Quote:

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?"

Daria: They got away, and are now part of a rock band.
Jane: Moonlight Potions!

Quote:

I asked Sorious flirtily.

Daria: Slut, slut, slut.

Quote:

"I fucking tortured them."

Jane: <Sirius> By making them read this fic!

Quote:

he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

Daria: People don't write LOL in novels...

Quote:

I laughed evilly.

Jane: And I choked evilly.
Daria: I'm crying right now.

Quote:

"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered.

Jane: Wasn't that Dracula's daughter?

Quote:

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day."

Daria: Darn.

Quote:

Sodomize moaned sexily.

Jane: I'm gonna sodomize the writer with dynamite.

Quote:

"Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

Daria: And the author's soul died.
Jane: He does that a lot.

Quote:

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

Daria: I don't want to know.

Quote:

She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.

Jane: I just want some booze.

Quote:

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

Daria: And summoned a reaper, killing everyone and sparing us.

Quote:

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

Daria: A whole mess of crap. I don't even know what's going on.

Quote:

And then...I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around...I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula.

Jane: Technically, she shouldn't be seen by anyone if she is in the Pensieve...

Quote:

It was mourning.

Daria: I'm mourning my missing sanity.

Quote:

I was sitting next to Satan.

Jane: Joy...

Quote:

On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson.

Daria: Who's Charlyn Manson?

Quote:

I noticed...he was drinking a portent.

Daria: Hopefully, it's poison.
Jane: I'm wondering why she's having Count Chocula when Hogwarts typically has sausages, scrapple, bacon, eggs, muffins...
Daria: Shut it. I'm hungry.

Quote:

"Whose he!11" I asked.

Daria: Wild guess, Mad-Eye Moody.

Quote:

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn."

Jane: Ebony's father?

Quote:

Satan said. "He▓s da Portents teacher...Ebony?"

Jane: Looks like he's addicted to the stuff.

Quote:

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason

Jane: Is this the one with the blond hair?

Quote:

is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

Daria: Another good movie referenced by a horrible writer.

Quote:

"Yah?"

"Well...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

Jane: And directly after, we can have an acupuncture session!

Raven Nightshade · **Posted:** Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:28 am

I still wonder sometimes if this fic wasn't just a massive trolling attempt on the HP fandom, if not the fanfic community at large.

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:30 am

Raven Nightshade wrote:

I still wonder sometimes if this fic wasn't just a massive trolling attempt on the HP fandom, if not the fanfic community at large.

That wouldn't surprise me. There are people who hate Harry Potter.

DSBM · **Posted:** Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:38 am

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Raven Nightshade wrote:

I still wonder sometimes if this fic wasn't just a massive trolling attempt on the HP fandom, if not the fanfic community at large.

That wouldn't surprise me. There are people who hate Harry Potter.

Haters gonna hate.

And if I understood this right... Did they have sex in a coffin? How does that work? :eek:

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:43 am

DSBM wrote:

And if I understood this right... Did they have sex in a coffin? How does that work? :eek:

Use your imagination.

DSBM · **Posted:** Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:51 am

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Use your imagination.

I don't think I want to. I have enough nightmares as it is.

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:08 pm

Chapter 35!
Daria: Spare us...

Quote:

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok!

Daria: What idea.
Jane: I'm going to go ahead and bet that it's something that will have us clawing out our eyes.

Quote:

fuk of prepz!11111111

Daria: This joke is getting old.

Quote:

fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!

Jane: Are they dating yet?

Quote:

1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111

Daria: There are nine chapters left! That's not soon enough!

Quote:

oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

Daria: Sirius doesn't need any goth names!

Quote:

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan.

Jane: And Satan doesn't want you.

Quote:

Suddenly I gasped...Draco wuz there!111

Daria: What?

Quote:

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

Jane: Kill me. Please kill me.

Quote:

"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

Daria: <Draco> Dumping you!

Quote:

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.

Jane: Uh... When did he lose an arm?

Quote:

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz."

Daria: Wait... If this is set in the eighties-nineties... How is Draco however old he is?

Quote:

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said.

Jane: Audience, would you be disappointed if we decided to stop?

Quote:

He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz.

Daria: Shoot me.

Quote:

They where siting in a corner kutting.

Jane: I think someone is confusing Goth with Emo...
Daria: That hit you just now?

Quote:

It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and...Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts.

Daria: *sigh* This is too stupid.

Quote:

"Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

Jane: He needs all the talent he can get.
Daria: What talent?

Quote:

"ORLY." I ESKED.

Jane: No, he just wants to get in your pants.

Quote:

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

Jane: AUGH!!!!!!!!!! Koji Suzuki hasn't even written Ringu yet!
Daria: For those at home, Wolf has in fact read Ringu and Spiral and is currently reading Loop.

Quote:

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin.

Daria: What?

Quote:

Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

Jane: Too bad, fic over.

Quote:

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

Daria: What a shock.

Quote:

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

Jane: You slit your wrists every three seconds!

Quote:

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said.

Daria: That was one letter away from banning this fic forever.

Quote:

"Wel...I said Im in a bnad myself."

Jane: When did you say that?

Quote:

"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

Daria: Snape is gothic in the sense of medievel knights and castles. Ebony is gothic the same way a hedgehog is.

Quote:

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Daria and Jane: NO!

Quote:

Yeah said everyone.

Daria: It's your funeral.

Quote:

So the guys tok out der guitarz.

Jane: And killed each other with them

Quote:

They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

Daria: An ugh for the joke and an ugh for getting the band's name wrong.

Quote:

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily

Jane: Wolf just died again!

Quote:

(I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song)..

Daria: I had no idea.

Quote:

Every1 gasped.

Jane" Asbestos!

Quote:

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

Jane: "Tara, will you write better?" Begged all the people reading this.

Quote:

"Um...ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

Daria: No, we're going to commit mass suicide.

Quote:

"Yah." they said.

Jane: So, they won't commit suicide, but I will.

Quote:

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit.

Jane: How about something with pink?

Quote:

I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time.

Daria: Click your heels three times and say "There's no place like home?"

Quote:

Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz...Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

Jane: Oh, God, no.

Quote:

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

Jane: He's here to kill you for disturbing time-space.

Quote:

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den...he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and...sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111

Jane: Here we go again.

DSBM · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:30 pm

*beginning reminds him of the word "preppy goth" :roll:

*

Quote:

They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

I'm sorry. It actually took me five minutes to get this sentence...

HELP, I THINK THIS IS BRAINWASHING ME!

Raven Nightshade · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:44 pm

Quote:

Jane: Audience, would you be disappointed if we decided to stop?

Only nine more chapters of mind-numbing insanity, egregious spelling errors, and dumb poser-goth/emo foolishness to go! AND NOW THERE'S TIME TRAVEL!!!!

Quote:

Daria: Snape is gothic in the sense of medievel knights and castles. Ebony is gothic the same way a hedgehog is.

This is best line. :love:

Oswald the Abandoned · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:20 pm

Special!
Jane: Jane Lane here. Daria and I are going to make fun of this older article we found online.
Daria: Yes, we know it's old, but, we decided to take a break from bad grammer.
Jane: Link to the article:
http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/2003/ ... r_moon.htm
Jane: Ready? Let's go!

Quote:

Sailor Moon

Daria: The champion of love, warrior of justice, and envy of every hentai girl out there.

Quote:

The Truth behind the tempting tale

Jane: It was based on a hentai OVA titled "Lunar Lovers."

Quote:

by M. Desir
(Note: We don't know Monique personally but we appreciate her observations)

Daria: So any old fool can make a review?

Quote:

Posted June 20, 2003

Jane: We know, we know, keep it down.

Quote:

I would like to tell you some things about Sailor Moon.

Daria: This is a Sailor Moon fan site. Tread with caution.

Quote:

I am ashamed to say that I used to watch it a lot a few years ago before I realized how warped and disgusting it was.

Jane: She must have seen Sailor and the Seven Balls.

Quote:

First of all, the Japanese and English versions are kind of different.

Daria: No! Say it isn't so!

Quote:

(WELL THAT MIGHT BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT!)

Jane: So's your ego.

Quote:

In the Japanese version there is a lot of homosexuality going on

Daria: I wouldn't say two canon couples and a single gay male is a lot of homosexuality.

Quote:

as well as bisexuality that parents might not understand.

Jane: It's the internet. We all understand.

Quote:

For example, there is a couple who work for Queen Beryl:

Jane: Tutti and Fruity?

Quote:

Zoycite (an effete/effeminate)

Daria: Zoisite

Quote:

and Malachite

Jane: Kunzite

Quote:

are both male characters in the original Japanese version,

Daria: And?

Quote:

but Zoycite who is more feminine looking than Malachite was dubbed a female in the American version!

Jane: And that's why we hate the English version!

Quote:

They are gay! Homosexual! And I wonder if parents here in America knew if they would have been angry or just go with the flow?!

Daria: Why don't you go look at how One Million Moms was treated, then come back to talk to me.

Quote:

Another homosexual couple, two women called Sailor Neptune and Uranus, have a daughter in the Japanese version.

Jane: And they're home life is more steady than half of the American couples!

Quote:

However, one day when I was watching it on the cartoon network, there was an episode with both Sailor Senshi or soldiers/scouts in USA version.

Daria: Scantily clad women in cartoons! Say it isn't so!

Quote:

Sailor Uranus is the more boyish of the couple with her short, blond hair and taller, slender looks.

Jane: And is the envy of most male models.

Quote:

In this episode she was dressed in a suit like a young man. AT first I thought that it was a BOY and so did the other Sailor scouts who were drooling with hearts and teardrops forming around their heads! If I noticed this blatant, in your face homosexuality -- who else did?

Daria: Hey, did you think that might be, I dunno, a joke?

Quote:

Well, someone must have because I haven't seen the show on television since. Good.

Jane: You obviously didn't pay close attention. They had a whole other season on there!

Quote:

Some have said that Sailor Neptune and Uranus' relationship is a "parody of heterosexual relationships" because Uranus who is more male than all of the Sailor Scouts and Sailor Neptune who is more female are reflecting a warped version of family life, due to the fact that they are both women.

Daria: What? No, that's a media stereotype of homosexuals period.
Jane: Are you trying to explain things to a religious woman?

Quote:

For instance, their daughter calls them "mama" and "papa".

Jane: Cue the "Awwww, what a cute family!"

Quote:

The male pair are a couple of the villains in the first season and the latter female pair are the good guys in the later series.

Daria: Wow. That could be taken wrong.

Quote:

There is also a great deal of -- I am not sure if I want to use this word --

Jane: Tolerance?

Quote:

pedophilia in the show.

Daria: What? *snickers*

Quote:

Young girls as young as 12 or 13 (8th graders mind you) are falling head over heels in love with older, wicked men.

Jane: That reminds me, when I was 12 I had a crush on Bon Jovi.

Quote:

One example is the relationship between Neflite, a soldier for the Negaverse and Molly, an ordinary and virginal human girl.

Daria: More people would be squicked out at the fact you used the phrase "virgin."

Quote:

No wonder that girls age 12 are dating men as young as 28!

Jane: Okay, first of all, none of the men on there are any older than 16! Not 28!

Quote:

There is a lot of occult or alchemic talk in the show:

Daria: Because Sailor Mars is seen wearing a Satanic pentagram.

Quote:

quest for crystals, moon prisms, which are worn as brooches for extra power.

Jane: Which is a conduit for Satanic power.

Quote:

But where are they drawing this power from?

Daria: Fun answer: The evil influences of Satan! Real answer: Duuuur, love?

Quote:

The Negaverse has power like that too.

Jane: I thought the Negaverse stole power from the life force of humans.

Quote:

I think that it is like the idea of White and Black Magic:

Daria: Good vs evil?

Quote:

though both won't admit it they are tapping their power from the same source: Satan.

Jane: Called it!
Daria: I'm not even sure if the Japanese believe in Satan.

Quote:

In the Japanese version, Sabrina's name is Usagi or Bunny because of her hairstyle.

Daria: As well as a cultural joke.

Quote:

Tuxedo Mask is really Tuxedo Kamen and his princely name is Mamoru.

Jane: Which means to protect. No mention of that now, is there?

Quote:

To me there is a lot of "goddess" worship in the show, like what you would find from the ancient religions of Greece and the Mystery religions of Rome.

Daria: Is there something wrong with that? I mean, the male God is weak. It's the strong Goddess that lights the way.
Jane: Poetic. Think it'll piss some people off?
Daria: I hope so.

Quote:

A lot of Sailor Moon fans deny the witchcraft element.

Daria: Because there is no witchcraft element.

Quote:

WELL, how come Luna, the black cat can turn into a human?! It's true!

Jane: Uh, maybe because it was for love?

Quote:

In the manga (comic) series Luna and her consort, Artemis and Diane (a kitten, their daughter) transform into their human forms in the final battle to help Sailor moon destroy an "evil" foe!

Jane: In the manga, isn't that because they are shapeshifting aliens?

Quote:

In the movie version "Sailor S or Heart of Ice", Luna falls in love with a human.

Daria: Beastiality!

Quote:

She is transformed into a human by Super Sailor Moon, who uses "the power of the chalice"

Jane: How much do you want to bet that if she knew it was called "The Holy Grail" she would have freaked?

Quote:

to grant Luna's wish and to make Kakeru's (her love interest) dreams come true: She takes him on a trip to the Moon in the personage of a Princess he loves named Kaguya! Afterwards, she transforms back into a cat.

Daria: That seems less Satanic and more "For Love and Justice." Which, you know, is there credo?

Quote:

The weird thing about it is that the cats are guardians of Sailor Moon, her husband or prince, Prince Darien and their daughter Rini (American version name).

Daria: Prince Endymion and ChibiUsa, respectivelly.

Quote:

Artemis, the white cat who belongs to Sailor Venus, is an exception.

Jane: Which is a whole different set of jokes.

Quote:

There is also slight nudity during the transformation scenes when the Sailor scouts change their into their hero clothing.

Daria: Duh.

Quote:

Some have said that this is not for sexual stimulation, which is a lie because most Japanese business men would get their "kicks" at these scenes.

Jane: No, they get a kick out of the Rule 34 doujinshi.

Quote:

They also have some disgusting fetish for schoolgirl panties!

Daria: Well, true...

Quote:

They buy them from vending machines or from the girls themselves. White ones are preferred and there is a lot of that flashing on the show. I am not lying! I was shocked when I found it on a website about a year ago.

Jane: I read that article as well. The thing is, is that the Japanese have an entirely different culture than us!
Daria: I would like to point out that the "panty shots" on Sailor Moon are, in fact, the bottom of the leotards.

Quote:

As I grow in the love of Jesus,

Daria: Get out the earmuffs.

Quote:

it appears that my mind is expanding spiritually as well as I read His awesome Word.

Jane: Funny, my mind fell asleep.

Quote:

A lot of shows that I once watched I no longer care for, especially if they are in conflict with the Truth and beliefs.

Daria: That you should tolerate and love everyone?

Quote:

For instance, I no longer enjoy watching Will and Grace because I realize now that it is glorifying homosexuality and the like.

Jane: And teaches tolerance towards homosexuals as well. But, you know, that's evil.

Quote:

A lot of shows in America do that.

Daria: Boo-hoo. Get a hankie.

Quote:

I no longer care to compromise my faith. And even though I may stumble along the way, I thank God for His Holy Spirit that whispers to me, reminding me what is good and lovely what is righteous and holy and what is not. He has opened my eyes.

Jane: That reminds me. I'm going to be attending a Bible burning this weekend. Want to come with?

Quote:

Sailor Moon and other anime may seem harmless, but if you are a Christian, you in no way should be promoting or protecting this kind of material by saying, "It teacher adults and adolescence alike virtues" because we know that that is far from the Truth.

Daria: But, that is exactly what it teaches.

Quote:

Nothing should be a substitute for Our Sword and that is the very Word of God.

Jane: Which has tormented and tortured people to death for several centuries.

Sailor Swifty · **Posted:** Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:44 pm

Kaitou Wolf wrote:

Special!
Jane: Jane Lane here. Daria and I are going to make fun of this older article we found online.
Daria: Yes, we know it's old, but, we decided to take a break from bad grammer.
Jane: Link to the article:
http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/2003/ ... r_moon.htm
Jane: Ready? Let's go!

Quote:

Sailor Moon

Daria: The champion of love, warrior of justice, and envy of every hentai girl out there.

Quote:

The Truth behind the tempting tale

Jane: It was based on a hentai OVA titled "Lunar Lovers."

Quote:

by M. Desir
(Note: We don't know Monique personally but we appreciate her observations)

Daria: So any old fool can make a review?

Quote:

Posted June 20, 2003

Jane: We know, we know, keep it down.

Quote:

I would like to tell you some things about Sailor Moon.

Daria: This is a Sailor Moon fan site. Tread with caution.

Quote:

I am ashamed to say that I used to watch it a lot a few years ago before I realized how warped and disgusting it was.

Jane: She must have seen Sailor and the Seven Balls.

Quote:

First of all, the Japanese and English versions are kind of different.

Daria: No! Say it isn't so!

Quote:

(WELL THAT MIGHT BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT!)

Jane: So's your ego.

Quote:

In the Japanese version there is a lot of homosexuality going on

Daria: I wouldn't say two canon couples and a single gay male is a lot of homosexuality.

Quote:

as well as bisexuality that parents might not understand.

Jane: It's the internet. We all understand.

Quote:

For example, there is a couple who work for Queen Beryl:

Jane: Tutti and Fruity?

Quote:

Zoycite (an effete/effeminate)

Daria: Zoisite

Quote:

and Malachite

Jane: Kunzite

Quote:

are both male characters in the original Japanese version,

Daria: And?

Quote:

but Zoycite who is more feminine looking than Malachite was dubbed a female in the American version!

Jane: And that's why we hate the English version!

Quote:

They are gay! Homosexual! And I wonder if parents here in America knew if they would have been angry or just go with the flow?!

Daria: Why don't you go look at how One Million Moms was treated, then come back to talk to me.

Quote:

Another homosexual couple, two women called Sailor Neptune and Uranus, have a daughter in the Japanese version.

Jane: And they're home life is more steady than half of the American couples!

Quote:

However, one day when I was watching it on the cartoon network, there was an episode with both Sailor Senshi or soldiers/scouts in USA version.

Daria: Scantily clad women in cartoons! Say it isn't so!

Quote:

Sailor Uranus is the more boyish of the couple with her short, blond hair and taller, slender looks.

Jane: And is the envy of most male models.

Quote:

In this episode she was dressed in a suit like a young man. AT first I thought that it was a BOY and so did the other Sailor scouts who were drooling with hearts and teardrops forming around their heads! If I noticed this blatant, in your face homosexuality -- who else did?

Daria: Hey, did you think that might be, I dunno, a joke?

Quote:

Well, someone must have because I haven't seen the show on television since. Good.

Jane: You obviously didn't pay close attention. They had a whole other season on there!

Quote:

Some have said that Sailor Neptune and Uranus' relationship is a "parody of heterosexual relationships" because Uranus who is more male than all of the Sailor Scouts and Sailor Neptune who is more female are reflecting a warped version of family life, due to the fact that they are both women.

Daria: What? No, that's a media stereotype of homosexuals period.
Jane: Are you trying to explain things to a religious woman?

Quote:

For instance, their daughter calls them "mama" and "papa".

Jane: Cue the "Awwww, what a cute family!"

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The male pair are a couple of the villains in the first season and the latter female pair are the good guys in the later series.

Daria: Wow. That could be taken wrong.

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There is also a great deal of -- I am not sure if I want to use this word --

Jane: Tolerance?

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pedophilia in the show.

Daria: What? *snickers*

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Young girls as young as 12 or 13 (8th graders mind you) are falling head over heels in love with older, wicked men.

Jane: That reminds me, when I was 12 I had a crush on Bon Jovi.

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One example is the relationship between Neflite, a soldier for the Negaverse and Molly, an ordinary and virginal human girl.

Daria: More people would be squicked out at the fact you used the phrase "virgin."

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No wonder that girls age 12 are dating men as young as 28!

Jane: Okay, first of all, none of the men on there are any older than 16! Not 28!

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There is a lot of occult or alchemic talk in the show:

Daria: Because Sailor Mars is seen wearing a Satanic pentagram.

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quest for crystals, moon prisms, which are worn as brooches for extra power.

Jane: Which is a conduit for Satanic power.

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But where are they drawing this power from?

Daria: Fun answer: The evil influences of Satan! Real answer: Duuuur, love?

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The Negaverse has power like that too.

Jane: I thought the Negaverse stole power from the life force of humans.

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I think that it is like the idea of White and Black Magic:

Daria: Good vs evil?

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though both won't admit it they are tapping their power from the same source: Satan.

Jane: Called it!
Daria: I'm not even sure if the Japanese believe in Satan.

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In the Japanese version, Sabrina's name is Usagi or Bunny because of her hairstyle.

Daria: As well as a cultural joke.

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Tuxedo Mask is really Tuxedo Kamen and his princely name is Mamoru.

Jane: Which means to protect. No mention of that now, is there?

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To me there is a lot of "goddess" worship in the show, like what you would find from the ancient religions of Greece and the Mystery religions of Rome.

Daria: Is there something wrong with that? I mean, the male God is weak. It's the strong Goddess that lights the way.
Jane: Poetic. Think it'll piss some people off?
Daria: I hope so.

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A lot of Sailor Moon fans deny the witchcraft element.

Daria: Because there is no witchcraft element.

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WELL, how come Luna, the black cat can turn into a human?! It's true!

Jane: Uh, maybe because it was for love?

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In the manga (comic) series Luna and her consort, Artemis and Diane (a kitten, their daughter) transform into their human forms in the final battle to help Sailor moon destroy an "evil" foe!

Jane: In the manga, isn't that because they are shapeshifting aliens?

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In the movie version "Sailor S or Heart of Ice", Luna falls in love with a human.

Daria: Beastiality!

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She is transformed into a human by Super Sailor Moon, who uses "the power of the chalice"

Jane: How much do you want to bet that if she knew it was called "The Holy Grail" she would have freaked?

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to grant Luna's wish and to make Kakeru's (her love interest) dreams come true: She takes him on a trip to the Moon in the personage of a Princess he loves named Kaguya! Afterwards, she transforms back into a cat.

Daria: That seems less Satanic and more "For Love and Justice." Which, you know, is there credo?

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The weird thing about it is that the cats are guardians of Sailor Moon, her husband or prince, Prince Darien and their daughter Rini (American version name).

Daria: Prince Endymion and ChibiUsa, respectivelly.

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Artemis, the white cat who belongs to Sailor Venus, is an exception.

Jane: Which is a whole different set of jokes.

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There is also slight nudity during the transformation scenes when the Sailor scouts change their into their hero clothing.

Daria: Duh.

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Some have said that this is not for sexual stimulation, which is a lie because most Japanese business men would get their "kicks" at these scenes.

Jane: No, they get a kick out of the Rule 34 doujinshi.

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They also have some disgusting fetish for schoolgirl panties!

Daria: Well, true...

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They buy them from vending machines or from the girls themselves. White ones are preferred and there is a lot of that flashing on the show. I am not lying! I was shocked when I found it on a website about a year ago.

Jane: I read that article as well. The thing is, is that the Japanese have an entirely different culture than us!
Daria: I would like to point out that the "panty shots" on Sailor Moon are, in fact, the bottom of the leotards.

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As I grow in the love of Jesus,

Daria: Get out the earmuffs.

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it appears that my mind is expanding spiritually as well as I read His awesome Word.

Jane: Funny, my mind fell asleep.

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A lot of shows that I once watched I no longer care for, especially if they are in conflict with the Truth and beliefs.

Daria: That you should tolerate and love everyone?

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For instance, I no longer enjoy watching Will and Grace because I realize now that it is glorifying homosexuality and the like.

Jane: And teaches tolerance towards homosexuals as well. But, you know, that's evil.

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A lot of shows in America do that.

Daria: Boo-hoo. Get a hankie.

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I no longer care to compromise my faith. And even though I may stumble along the way, I thank God for His Holy Spirit that whispers to me, reminding me what is good and lovely what is righteous and holy and what is not. He has opened my eyes.

Jane: That reminds me. I'm going to be attending a Bible burning this weekend. Want to come with?

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Sailor Moon and other anime may seem harmless, but if you are a Christian, you in no way should be promoting or protecting this kind of material by saying, "It teacher adults and adolescence alike virtues" because we know that that is far from the Truth.

Daria: But, that is exactly what it teaches.

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Nothing should be a substitute for Our Sword and that is the very Word of God.

Jane: Which has tormented and tortured people to death for several centuries.

I think someone from One millions moms wrote that... the way it is written points to them.. since they are all think of the children and crap... and that other shit adegst the gay charaters and how they no long support will and grace.

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Sailor Moon and other anime may seem harmless, but if you are a Christian, you in no way should be promoting or protecting this kind of material by saying, "It teacher adults and adolescence alike virtues" because we know that that is far from the Truth.

Yep it is OMM they always say that shit... if u are a christan u should not like it.

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